|Series 01, Episode 07|
|Air Date||December 28, 1981|
|Written by||John Sullivan|
|Previous episode||"The Russians Are Coming"|
|Next episode||"The Long Legs of the Law"|
|List of episode|
Del and Rodney try not to be poisoned by Grandad's Christmas dinner and then hit the Monte Carlo Club.
It's Christmas Day in Peckham, and Grandad is cooking the dinner while Rodney is reading the "Dark Arts" book, which Mickey Pearce gave him. Del Boy returns and gives Grandad money for Christmas, and Grandad annoys Del by saying "I never got you nothing, as I don't believe in it." Rodney is worried about Grandad's cooking, and suggests to Del going on a hunger strike, but Del refuses, saying that it is Grandad's role to cook the dinner, as it makes him feel although he is needed in the family.
That night, the Trotters have dinner, which is a turkey, which they believe to be fairly cooked, that is until it is revealed Grandad forgot to take the giblets out. The Christmas pudding is no better, as Grandad burns it, and Del and Rodders decide that dinner is over.
With Del asleep on the sofa, Rodney is watching television when he tells Del he hates the circus. Del awakens, and Rodney asks him if he wants to go to the local Monte Carlo Club in Newcross. Del rejects the idea, saying that they can't leave Grandad alone, only for Grandad himself to go out shortly afterwards to an OAP's party, as he is sick of his grandchildren fighting. With this excuse, the Trotter Brothers head out.
Later at the nightclub, Rodney spots two women, one of whom he fancies. He reads his book before he goes, to which Del teases him, and Rodney ignores him and makes his move. Del embarrases his younger brother by shouting at him halfway across the dancefloor, and Rodney gets annoyed with Del's embarrasment towards him. Rodney and Del eventually go to talk to the women, but find that two other men have already beat them to it and the women dance with them, much to Del and Rodder's horror.
- This was the sole episode of Only Fools and Horses between 1981 and 1987 not to be produced by Ray Butt, who after the first season of the show, was re-assigned to Seconds Out by the BBC. The initial plan was for Martin Shardlow, who had directed the first season, to also take on the producer's role for this special and the second season. However, Shardlow and John Sullivan could not agree on a future direction for the series, which eventually resulted in Shardlow deciding not to take the producer's role and leaving Only Fools and Horses altogether. With this episode in danger of not being filmed in time for Christmas 1981, Ray Butt arranged for his close friend and fellow BBC producer Bernard Thompson to produce and direct the episode, and Butt would subsequently return as producer (and this time director) for the second season.