|Series 03, Episode 06|
|Air Date||December 15, 1983|
|Written by||John Sullivan|
|Previous episode||"May The Force Be With You"|
|Next episode||"Who's a Pretty Boy?"|
|List of episode|
"Wanted" was the 6th episode of the 3rd series of Only Fools And Horses, airing on the 15th December 1983 with a viewing figure of 11.2 million. This episode showed how far someone will go to crack a joke and the sometimes disasterous consequences. Rodney meets a woman who accuses him of touching her.
Rodney goes on the run after being dubbed "The Peckham Pouncer".
As Rodney walks home, he stumbles upon a mentally and physically unstable drunken woman who's waiting for a bus. But when she's about to fall, Rodney puts his hands out to catch her, but the woman angrily berates Rodney for touching her. Rodney tries to calm the woman by saying that he's a doctor, then quickly runs off into the night, after the woman screams "Rape!"
The next morning, back at Nelson Mandela House, Rodney tells Del and Grandad about the woman he ran into last night. When Rodney describes her, Del realises he knows the woman and sees an attempt to tease his younger brother. Del tells Rodney that he's been dubbed "The Peckham Pouncer" by the police and that vigilantes are also looking for him. When Rodney leaves the room and goes back to bed, Del bursts into laughter and explains to Grandad that Rodney had just met Blossom, a mental hospital patient who is let out on weekends for practice, and accusing people is her hobby which makes her well known to the police. Grandad asks why he doesn't tell Rodney, but Del suggests that he's going to wind Rodney up with the Peckham Pouncer story. Grandad then warns his grandson to be careful with his joke.
That night, back at the Nag's Head, Del tells Trigger and Boycie about Rodney meeting Blossom, as well as Trigger mentioning how his cousin Marilyn was once accused by Blossom. Then, Grandad calls Del with bad news: Rodney's gone on the run, taken all the tinned food from the cupboard, and is hiding in a secret place. Del decides to go out and look for him.
The next morning, a tired and unshaven Del returns home to the flat and explains to Grandad that he looked for Rodney everywhere in London, and was offered by many drug addicts from £50 for his passport to a plate of Magic Mushrooms. Grandad then berates Del for not telling Rodney that it was just a joke yesterday instead of listening to his Johnny Cash Live at San Quentin LP. Del then starts to detect a strange smell. Grandad explains that it had been in the flats since last night, and it's coming from the ventilation shaft. This gives Del a clue to where Rodney is hiding.
Up in the tank room, Del enters and finds Rodney hiding. Del explains to him that he knows Rodney has been
smoking drugs, where the smell wafted through the air ducts. After offering food and scotch, Del comes clean and tells Rodney about Blossom, as well as the whole Peckham Pouncer story. Del promises to make it up to Rodney by taking him out for a big meal after giving him a shower, but Rodney informs him, as his older brother is taking a sip of his scotch and water, that he's not going to stand under the water after what he's been doing in it, causing Del to spit out his scotch and water in horror, thinking that he just drank urine.
- The idea for the script was based on a real life incident that happened to one of John Sullivan's friends.
- Grandad says that Rodney has a two-year suspended sentence for smoking cannabis in art college, but in "Big Brother", Del said that Rodney had an 18-month suspended sentence.